Still unhappy...

So, I've been to 3 funerals in my entire life...and i've decided i'm not the prettiest sight at these gatherings.

Funeral #1, Age 8, Grandpa Moon:
First person I've known personally that had died. I remember standing the church and they started playing amazing grace and my dad started crying. That was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry, and I lost it after that point.

Funeral #2, Age 11, Gramma:
This was weird because we knew my gramma was slowly dying and it was only a matter of time. She asked that her closest family members say something at her funeral. I had to get up in front of a crowded church and tell them something that I remembered about my gramma. We had a coloring book that was called "I'm Glad I'm Your Grandma." So whenever we would say goodbye, she would always say, I'm glad i'm your grandma and I would say, I'm glad I'm your little girl. That was really fucking hard to say in front of all those people and not be crying.

Funeral #3, Age 17, my friend's father:
He was killed by a drunk driver. Fuck you drunk drivers...I fucking hate you. I handled this one alright, relatively speaking. I remember the one person comforting me and wiping my tears was my old soccer coach that i hadn't seen in 4 years. So there were the emotions for mimi and maytal (kids) and then there were mixed in emotions for my coach whom i love taking care of me and my friend sara.

Soon to be Funeral #4, Age 22, Danny:
Danny is the first person who has passed away that I've actually been friends with, who has been my friend and not just an acquaintance (wow i probably butchered the spelling of that word) and I don't think I'm going to handle this very well....